Mixed Shadows
by NastifaceX
Summary: When Dean is contacted by faeries in attempt to gain the power to defeat an up-coming evil, he's a little skeptic, however, he was not expecting a crazy time traveling adventure to find his soulmate!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Eric Kripke is a creative genius of massive proportions and I can only hope to be like him someday. Too bad I already used my three wishes on nachos, a trip to Disneyland, and the eternal damnation of the Teletubbies…*laughs uncomfortably***

**Warnings: Well, lemme see…um, S-L-A-S-H! And also, language from Dean and there may be some gore in later chapters, lemons & limes, and…Dean and Sam. Those two are sooo hot! Omigosh, I can't even...! *drools* I just wanna lick 'em and do…indecent things with 'em!**

Dean groaned loudly as he flopped onto the motel bed. The springs squealed like a dying pig and Dean idly hoped that there were no bed bugs on the bed. In some of the motels he slept in, saying "don't let the bed bugs bite" was literal. He turned slightly and looked at the TV's dark screen. There might be a little time for some porn and a quickie before Dad brought Sammy back from…wherever the hell he had taken him.

Dean sighed to himself, contemplating whether he should tend to his black eye or his sore knuckles first. That fist to Sammy's face hadn't been a love tap. But, then again, the punch Dad gave him in retaliation was hardly soft either. Dean groaned again at the trail his thoughts took after that and pushed himself up.

"Get a grip, idiot," he grumbled under his breath as he shambled towards the tiny, cramped bathroom.

Bottle green eyes stared back at him from the mirror, one of them encased in a puffy purple patch of skin. _Ha, say "puffy purple patch" three time fast,_ he though hazily. The full pink lips, cock-sucker lips if there ever were, pulled up in a smirking grin, and his head lolled a little to the left. He lifted an eyebrow, a trick he seemed to have been born with that Sam had worked hard to master, and stared drolly at his reflection in the grimy mirror.

"Hello, Dean Winchester. Are you there? Are you…anywhere?" He asked his reflection. He wasn't sure if he was being funny or not. After all, who was Dean Winchester? Dean certainly hoped it wasn't this guy staring back at him. This guy wasn't anyone, at least, no one Dean Winchester should be. This guy was Mr. Responsible, Mr. Take-the-Blame, Mr. Do-What-I'm-Told, Mr. Look-After-Sammy. And that was the worst part right there. On the list of things he shouldn't be, Look-After-Sammy was on there. And it really shouldn't have been. It's not like he really _hated_ looking after Sammy. It's just; Dean doesn't think he's right for the job.

"Yup, basically anyone who isn't a sick, twisted fuck-up like me would be better at this job," He growled to himself in annoyance.

After all, only a sick, twisted fuck-up of a brother couldn't spend a half hour with his baby bro without feeling the need to bend him over the nearest somewhat flat surface and pound him into submission. And not in the "fists of fury" way, no, it was more in the "prick of pleasure" way. And that is _not_ an okay thing to use on your little bro. At all, like, _ever._ Dean knew this, which only made him an even more twisted motherfucker. _Hmm,_ Dean thought idly, _considering the way I feel for my own brother, that term may pertain to me more than it ever should have._ Dean groaned again.

"Hello, Dean Winchester," a voice said suddenly right behind him. With a shriek Dean would later deny vehemently, he turned around to face whoever or _whatever _had spoken.

A thin…boy, or so it seemed, who had bone white skin, unnaturally large _purple_ eyes, a thin lip-less mouth, and who was wearing a powder blue leisure suit straight out of _Saturday Night Live_ stood staring at him. The eyes, almost creepily large, were focused on his face, the irises following even the tiniest muscular twitch.

"Who the hell are you!" Questioned Dean as he tried to reach inconspicuously for the gun tucked into his belt. Yeah, what with the…thing watching his every move, that was pretty impossible, but ain't nobody gonna say he didn't try. The creature's thin neon yellow eyebrows shot up on its/his forehead and into it's carefully coiffed Elvis Presley-esque 'do. It/he cleared its throat with a tortured groan and spoke again.

"My sincerest apologies if I have startled you, Dean Winchester, but I am here on an important mission, and have not the time to follow the usual protocols." He/it explained eloquently

"Yeah, yeah, but who are you, how the fuck did you get here, and what the fuck do you want!" replied Dean just as eloquently. Again, the creature made that dying cow noise before continuing.

"Ah yes, I am Helbion Mogghy Malgharty the III, of the Hoemhlil faeries. I got here the way most of our kind do in such situations. It is a gift given to us by King Oberon himself. As for the reason for my visit…well, it is the will of Queen Titannia that this be done."

"…that is one hell of a name, kid, and _what_ exactly does this Queen of yours want done?" Dean asked. The faery, Helbion, grinned brightly, showing sharp teeth terribly reminiscent of a piranha's. Dean recoiled slightly.

"Ah, well, you see, the great Queen has many in her court, including seers of all kinds. One of them sees into the realm of men, and has seen a terrible future for it…and you, Dean Winchester. And while we faeir have our own realm, we depend upon yours, as do many others. Therefore, she, the great Queen, in her mighty wisdom, has decreed that I help you find you soulmate, so that you may increase the power she shall bestow upon you-"

"Whoa! Let's back this bitch up! What's this awful future? What's this soulmate crap? And what power is that bitch gonna be bestowing?" Dean queried rapidly. Helbion stared for moment.

"…I do not understand your usage of the human term for a female dog, but I can assure that the great Queen is in no way a dog. I regret to say, Dean Winchester, but I was not told of this future, so therefore I cannot tell you. Not all humans have soulmates, but for those that do, if the great Queen bestows the pow'rs of the faeir upon them, the bonds between soulmates will more the quadruple it! This should help you with this unknown future."

"Exactly what kind of powers are we talking about here? There's no blood of virgins, bones of babies, puppy tails or crap like that, right?" Dean didn't want any witch powers that would make Sammy or his Dad hunt him at any point.

"Oh no! Faery pow'r is not like the terrible, vile thing your human witches have! Our pow'r is clean and pure, from the Earth herself! Our pow'r is as poison to the things you call demons," Helbion reassured hurriedly. Dean nodded in approval and let out an admiring whistle.

"So, you guys really stick in demons' craw, eh? Well, in that case, load me up, baby!" Dean threw his arms out and prepared to get…zapped, or whatever. However, Helbion did his little piranha grin again and pulled out a vial full of a strange viridescent semi-fluid with bronze veins running through it. To his eternal shame, the mixture took on a distinctly pink tint as soon as it came into Dean's hand. Pulling the stopper from the top, Dean took a deep breath and chugged the liquid down.

At first, it tasted bitterer than lemon peel, and Dean's cheeks squished together at the tart taste. Then a burst of intense sweet hit his taste buds, almost becoming sour in its extremity. A swirl of tangy spice came next, and before it left, Dean wanted to check his mouth for fires. Then, Dean began to wonder if he'd put the entire Dead Sea in his mouth, swallowed the water, and left all the salt in his maw. Finally, it seemed like all taste was entirely taken from him, and he was left with a tingling sensation that grew and grew until he felt like if he moved his tongue, millions of needles would prick it. This feeling spread to the back of his throat, making him cough uncontrollably, and moved down his esophagus. As soon as it hit his stomach, it spread through his whole body. When it reached Dean's heart, it seemed to concentrate there. The pain swirled like water flushed down a toilet bowl and Dean clutched at his shirt above his heart, irrationally wanting to rip it out to stop the awful pain.

Dean's limbs jerked and twitched and he felt a strange tearing sensation in his back. And then, suddenly, abruptly, it was all over. After a moment to get his bearings, he came back to himself and realized that he had fallen onto his hands and knees while in the throes of the transformation…or whatever it was. Pushing himself up and standing gingerly on his feet, Dean looked at the mirror to check for any physical signs.

At first, they were slightly hard to notice, but he was paler, yes, and his eyes were bigger. The irises had gained an impossible topaz tint, and his hair seemed slightly spikier. He was a touch taller, and his waist was slimmer, giving him a more built look but not actually increasing his muscle mass. All in all, none of the changes were particularly horrible, and, in fact, gave him a slightly exotic and wild look. If it wouldn't irreparably maim his pride, he'd even say he looked a little bit like a faery. He looked wild, untamed, like he was made for moonlit dances in cornfields with fireflies and other nature-y crap. Dean wasn't sure how exactly he felt about his new look, but since his wounds were healed, and he doubted this was a reversible thing, he'd just have to suck it up.

"So, I now have super faery powers and shit, and this should help me defeat demons and the like, right?" Dean asked, just to make sure, which he probably should have done _before_ he swallowed that thing, but whatever, Dean Winchester was a doer, not a thinker. He left that shit for Sammy. Again, Helbion graced him with a puzzled look.

"Yes, Dean Winchester, you do have the pow'r of a faery, but I would suspect that your excrement will remain the same as it was before. I also do not see how excrement could possibly defeat demons, but, yes, your new pow'r will indeed be a great boon in your battles." Helbion replied. Dean chuckled at the faery's confusion.

"So, now that I have this power, how do I go about finding my soulmate so I can quadruple that puppy? Dean inquired. Now Helbion looked hopelessly lost, but seemed to decide to just let it pass.

"Well, as you are now at least part faery, I can easily see what must be done," here Helbion paused, staring at Dean with glazed eyes for a few moments," Hmm, finding and bonding with your soulmate will not be easy for you, Dean Winchester. You will have to first see what being soulmates is all about."

"OK then, what is it all about?" Dean asked skeptically. Helbion shook his head slightly, as if amused.

"No, Dean Winchester, I did not say I would _tell_ what it is about, I said you would _see_ what it was about. There is only one way the faeir do this."

"Oh, and what way is that?" Dean would be the first to admit he was being slightly patronizing. The grin that spread across Helbion's face was much, _much_ scarier that the ones before, and Dean belatedly remembered that the faeries used to be feared.

"Why, by traveling through time, of course!" And with those words still ringing unnaturally in his ears, everything went black, and Dean crumpled bonelessly to the floor…

**AN: Ok, ok, chickies! I know that what you all want are updates for MIL, LBP, and, most definitely, OEPATSMP, but…well, this plot bunny just came to me and started bludgeoning (don't you love that word) me over the head until I finally started this! Don't worry though; I've started the next chapter of MIL. The other two might be a little while coming, but it could be soon. See, I'm at my grandparents' house, and they don't have Wi-Fi, therefore, I am forced to spend the next week in internet withdrawal. Ugh! But, the good news, at least for you, is that being without the internet makes me work more on my own fics, so, here ya go! Enjoy chickies!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Right here, right now, I, Ember Caldwell, also known as NastifaceX, doth proclaim to all whom it may concern, that I, the aforementioned, doth not, it any way, shape, or form, claim or assume ownership to the massively awesome series, and its accoutrements, that is…Supernatural. There, happy?**

**Warnings: Same as chapter 1. **

At first, Dean felt like he had been run over by a semi. Then, as the feeling began to let up, he pushed himself up and started to look around. Just because he was now half-faery or whatever was no reason to forget his hunter training. And one of the cardinal rules of hunter training was, always know where you are. If you don't, find out, and, if you can't, then get the hell out of dodge. It was a simple, useful rule, and one that Dean had used many times and in many situations. Up to and including one night stands with strange women he'd picked up at shady bars. What can he say, like father like son, right?

"Ah, Dean Winchester, you have arrived," a voice, it seemed to be Helbion's, spoke. Dean looked up, squinting against the glare of the sun on a shining peak of ice. There stood Helbion in all his _Saturday Night Live_-esque glory.

"Yeah, so it seems. So, if you would be so kind as to tell me just _where_ I have arrived, so I can GET THE HELL OUT!" Dean roared the last part. Helbion looked rather taken aback for a moment, before his normal smarmy, sharp-toothed grin spread across his pale face.

"Oh, but it is not _where_ you are that matters now, Dean Winchester, for you exactly where you were before! No, my friend, it is _when_ you are that should concern you," Here, Helbion paused to check his conspicuously naked wrist," Well! Would you look at the time! I must be off, so ta ta! Oh, and remember, look for Sam! Everything else will fall into place. Cheerio!" the neon blond faery chirped giddily as he disappeared with a sparkly poof. If Dean hadn't been so indignant about being left whenever he was, he'd have spared a moment or two to lament over his possible new ability to disappear in a _sparkly poof._

Grunting in annoyance, Dean began to make his way out of the cool, dim cave he had been in. However, as soon as he stepped out, he jumped right back in. He'd though the cave was cool, but outside was fucking _cold!_ Looking around for something to keep him warm while he looked for Sammy, Dean spotted a pile of furs in a corner. It was only after noticing them that Dean began to see the other little things in the cave that indicated life. It was primitive, caveman-like life, yes, but life nonetheless. Then, his thoughts caught up with him.

"Helbion, you fucker! You sent me to the fucking _Ice Age!_" Dean growled, irritated at the faery's shenanigans. When the faery still remained absent, Dean sighed exasperatedly and headed over to the pile of furs.

It took some maneuvering, but Dean was finally able to wrap the furs around him in a way that both kept him warm and allowed movement. That done, and starting to feel hungry, Dean ventured out again, this time with a sharp spear he had found leaning against the cave wall.

The sun, while not giving much heat, shone brightly, and the icicles refracted brilliant light into his eyes. A frigid breeze blew his fur and hair, which seemed longer than usual, as he crested the small hill that helped cradle his home cave. The sight the met his eyes dropped his jaw in sheer amazement.

Giant woolly mammoths lumbered by slowly, pulling along heavy wooden carts, while figures wrapped in fur prodded them along and even rode some. _So…this is the Ice Age, eh?_ Dean thought. There were more people than he'd anticipated, and finding Sammy would be more difficult than he'd thought.

_Well, best get to it then_, he decided, before picking his way down the hill. As he came down the hill, one of the figures turned in his direction. The figure recoiled slightly, as if surprised. Then they began to practically bounce in excitement, pointing frantically in his direction and yelling incoherently. At least, Dean hoped it was incoherent yelling. It would really suck if they only spoke caveman, and he only spoke English.

As soon as he was close enough, the figure, which had grabbed the other figures attention with their crazy behavior, came running up to him.

"Ey! There you are! We saw someone go to that cave, but ain't no one been out in 'bout three five-days. We were beginning to wonder if you'd died! Who are you, anyway, yeah?" the girl asked. Well, at least she spoke English. Her accent, however, was…strange, to say the least! She sounded like she was swallowing half her vowels and the last letter of pretty much every word that ended in a consonant.

"Umm, I'm Dean. And you are…?" Dean raised an eyebrow, trying to prompt her to finish his sentence. However, she just stared in awed fascination at his forehead.

"Ey! Do that weird jumpy brow thing again! I ain't never seen nothing like that, yeah!" His eyebrow shot up again of its own accord at her strange way of speaking. And, well, also, his surprise. These people, or at least this girl, had never seen some one raise their eyebrow? It seemed a deprived life to Dean's mind.

"There you go. Now, who are you? And do you know someone named Sam?" He queried, eager to find Sammy, do what he had to, and get back to his own mammoth-free time. The girl grinned an irrepressible grin.

"Ey, I'm Naku, yeah!" Then Naku's forehead scrunched in thought, before her face brightened, "I don't know no one named Sam, or Dean for that matter, but the chief's daughter is called Samine. Ey, maybe she's who you're looking for, yeah?"

Dean frowned and was about to say no as soon as Naku said "the chief's daughter", but, just as the name "Samine" left her mouth, his stomach flipped in excitement and his blood pounded fiercely for a few beats. Somehow, he just knew that this Samine was an important person that he had to meet.

"Can you take me to her?" Dean asked Naku. Her bright grin became even bigger, and a somewhat scary gleam appeared in her ice blue eyes.

"Oooh, ehhh, I dunno…she _is_ the _princess_, you know. I can't just bring you over unannounced, yeah! What would be the purpose of your visit? Perhaps," and here, her grin turned downright sneaky, and her eyes shifted cunningly about," Ey, perhaps you would like to…court Princess Samine, yeah?"

"WHAT!" Dean spluttered in shock, staring wide-eyed at her. Naku's face was suddenly accusing.

"EY! So what's this, then? And just what's so bad about courting the princess, yeah huh? What, she ain't pretty enough for you, is that it? Maybe she's too savage, yeah? Ey, she ain't like those pansy-ass princesses you know? Is that it, yeah?" She looked incensed at the very thought.

"No!" Dean denied quickly, shaking his head almost frantically," That is to say, I'm sure there's nothing wrong with your Princess Samine, I just am not here to court her."

"Ey ehhh, well, I guess…alright. You can see her. EY! YOUR MAJESTY. C'MERE!" Naku bellowed. Dean jumped back, shocked. Footsteps sounded behind Dean.

"Alright, ey, alright, Naku, what is it this time? Don't tell me it's another dead saber-tooth! I'm not falling for that one again, je!" the voice was pleasantly husky, but definitely female. And, when Dean turned around to face the owner of the voice, the figure definitely was as well.

Princess Samine was, well, gorgeous. Her brown hair fell to her waist, the long bangs plaited with colorful ribbons threaded through them. Her eyes were a beautiful green, and her lips full, but not overly so. Her chin was somewhat masculine, but her chest…all woman. And the hips too…and the legs, and the…chest, umm, yes, they were _all_ woman!

The only troubling part is that, they were also all Sam. Well, you know, if Sam had actually been born a Samantha…in his world. Or, his time…or whatever, this time thing was fucking confusing! Just then, Dean belatedly realized he was still staring in dumbfounded silence at the princess. When he refocused back on her face, her expression was inquiring.

"Ey, who are you? I think I'd remember meeting someone like you, je. You must be new," She concluded. For a moment, Dean was confused by what she'd just said before he realized that that Samine had replaced Naku's ever-present "yeah" with her own "je". It seemed strange that while Naku's habit he found just vaguely annoying, Princess Samine's was distinctly charming. Unfortunately, she hadn't dropped the "ey", however.

"Ah, I'm Dean. Yeah, you could say I'm pretty new. Look, I'm searching for someone named Sam. Have you got like, a twin brother or something?" When Dean asked this question, Samine's brow furrowed as she examined him closely. Then, her face brightened and she _giggled_ with joy.

"Ey, Naku! Naku! This is him! This is the one! Ey, finally, after all these years of waiting, he's here! Oh, Papa will be sooo excited, je!" Samine squealed in glee. Naku seemed to catch her excitement, and the two of them joined hands and spun around delightedly, giggling back and forth at each other. Dean just stood there awkwardly, wondering just what the hell was going on. He cleared his throat to call their attention back to the matter at hand, and Samine swirled around to shoot him a look so full of…something, he shivered, half in anticipation, and half in pure terror.

"Eyyy, yes, Dean! Come, come, you should come. Oh je! There is sooo much to do! We've got to get the food, and the clothing, and the guests, and…oh je, _everything _planned!" She rattled off, seeming both scared and excited at the same time. Samine latched on to his arm like a leech and began to pull him along to some place or another, with Naku behind them a ways.

"Umm, so what exactly are we planning for, if you don't mind telling me?" Dean asked, bewildered over her state of sudden and extreme hyperness. She shot him a look he could only describe as rabid.

"Ey, why, the wedding, of course!"

_TBC…_

**AN: *hides in bunker* Ok, seriously, I know you guys want updates on my other stories! So, please, keep your pants one (cuz ain't nobody here wanna see your…unmentionables)! Look, the next chapters for MIL and LBP are coming along pretty swimmingly as of now, 'kay? As for Of Elven Princes…well, I **_**did**_** say that I had no idea where the story was going next. I told y'all to review and tell me your ideas. But was that what I got? NO! Oh sure, there were plenty favorites and alerts, which are all well and good (read: I fucking L-O-V-E them!), but I can't determine where to go next from faves and alerts, y'all. Get crackin' and tell me what you want to happen!**

**Pronunciation:**

**Ey- exactly as it's spelled**

**Naku- nah-koo**

**Samine- sah-mean-eh**

**Je- jay**

**Helbion Mogghy Malgharty of Hoemhlil- (oh heavens above!) hell-bee-on mog-hee mal-gar-tee of ho-em-he-lil **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I bow before the awesomeness that is Eric Kripke's Twisted Brain, and it's kinda hard to bow to yourself, is it not?**

**Warnings: Stupid people, it's the same as chapter fucking 1, duh!**

…**okay, actually, um, there is a new one…pre-threesome, yay!**

Dean had been dragged along by Princess Samine and her smirking lady-in-waiting through the whole village of cave-people, with Naku shouting out:" Make way for the princess and her future prince!" All the villagers came out and gawped at him as he was hustled along. The best he could do was send them a sheepish grin before he was out of their sight. Finally, Samine and Naku stopped at what Dean supposed, by virtue of the brightly decorated furs covering the cave's entrance, was a significant place.

"Ey, Milord High Priest Joff! We've found him, yeah! We are ready to start the wedding preparations. Ey, can you get him ready?" Naku yelled out in her freakishly loud voice. Dean stared apprehensively at the furs as heavy, sluggish footsteps came closer and closer to the curtain. Dangit! Faery-boy couldn't have left him in the Ice Age with a fucking gun?

Then, creepily slowly, the pelts were pushed aside, and a hugely obese man came lumbering out. His belly could have held overdue triplets, his thighs were held apart by fat, his arms were flabby, and tremendous rolls of jiggling blubber hid his neck and chin. The man's cheeks resembled those of an overweight bulldog, and he seemed to have a similar drooling problem. His eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and glazed, bugging out of puffy sockets. There were few strands of greasy lank hair on his pink scalp, and his cherry red nose was almost eclipsed by his cheeks. In short, the guy could give little kids nightmares. He blinked lethargically.

"Eyyy…is…this…," here he paused to slurp up some drool so he could continue speaking,"…him?" he heaved out like simply walking there and speaking had tired him out completely. Naku and Samine nodded happily. His eyes rolled over to Dean and he blinked again, his sagging lips quivered and his throat working as if he was trying to force words out.

"Good. I'll…call…Joff…" he turned around and ponderously made his way back into the cave. Dean let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in a sigh of relief. It was a good thing the fat guy wasn't the Priest Joff, because Dean _really_ didn't want to spend any time with him. He had nothing against fat people as a rule, but that guy…ugh. Then, he heard sharp, quick footsteps coming towards them. The furs were pushed aside quickly, and a tall figure loomed out of the gloom of the cave.

"Ey, ah, good, he is here. What is your name, child?" Priest Joff asked briskly, appraising Dean with sharp icy blue eyes and giving an approving nod. _Whew,_ thought Dean_, this dude was much better that Fat-boy._

"My name is Dean, sir," Dean added the "sir" almost unconsciously. Priest Joff was comfortingly similar to John Winchester in bearing. However, he looked very different. If Fat-boy looked like an obese bulldog, Priest Joff's appearance was more reminiscent of a crow. His hair was a reflective black that started rather high on his forehead. His eyes were slightly sunken in and shone with fierce intellect. Joff's skin was dark, he was hunched slightly, and his nose was very beak-like. He may not have been the most handsome guy ever, but he seemed to be…right, somehow , as if there was a dictionary somewhere with the phrase "high priest of the cavemen", and a picture of him next to it.

"Dean, eh? That is an interesting name, child. Kalu! Come here!" Priest Joff's voice raised only slightly, but it seemed to resound even better that Naku's crazy bellows. It was only then that Dean realized that Joff and Naku must be related. They had the same eyes and skin, and Naku's nose was beakier than most. Even their chins had a similar set.

Apparently, whoever Priest Joff had summoned was deep in the cave, for it took a moment or two before they appeared. Dean just hoped it wasn't Fat-boy…or his twin sister. It was far from it.

Kalu was a young man of perhaps…twenty? His hair was the color of straw, and his skin a mocha color. Kalu's eyes were a steely gray and glinted with a seemingly impossible mix of respect and arrogance as he replied to the priest.

"Ey, you called, High Priest?" his voice danced between the border of condescending and polite. Joff's large nose crinkled slightly, and Dean could tell he was amused. Dean, however, found nothing amusing about it, as Kalu had just turned his smirking face to him. It wouldn't have been bad if he was blank. In fact, openly hostile and overbearingly haughty would be better appreciated. But no, Kalu's face held a much worse emotion. Lust. There was no disguising or denying it. It blazoned clear across his face and his eyes traveled salaciously up and down Dean's form as he licked his lips slowly.

Now, Dean had nothing against gay people, _at all, _but this attention felt wrong, like it should be someone else's attention on him. But, what was worse was, though that was how he felt, he also found himself enjoying it…just a tad bit. And, perhaps, he could have discouraged it some by looking either away or pointedly disinterested, but he couldn't help locking eyes with Kalu, and he kept the contact for longer that he should have before turning his attention to Samine.

Kalu's eyes followed his, and Dean expected his expression to change, but it remained lascivious as ever. It seemed Kalu was more open-minded than one would expect.

"Ey, Kalu, take Dean back and prepare him for the ceremony. The spirits have revealed the bridge to me, ku. It shall be you," At the priest's statement, the girls gasped and Kalu's eyes widened marginally in surprise. Then a smirk split his face and his eyes cut to Dean. He reached out his hand and took the hunter's, pulling him into the cave. Right before the flaps close around them, he turned back, directing his smirk at the princess.

"Ey, worry not, Dean shall be ready, _my lady,_ as will I, ku. We wait in anticipation for the ceremony to begin tonight," the inflection on "my lady" sounded more than vaguely dirty, and his expression at the word "tonight" gave Dean a pretty justified if untrue guess about just what all was happening.

The interior of the cave was gloomy and ever so slightly dank, but quite nice, as caves go, the further they went in. Kalu led Dean to a little sub-cave like thing and pushed Dean in, turning around to close the fur curtain behind them. When he turned around, Dean was reminded of many things by the gleam in his eyes. Some were good, some…were not.

"Strip," Kalu commanded. Dean blinked, uncomprehending of the curt order. Kalu seemed annoyed at his inaction and moved into his personal space, pulling off the furs. Dean gave token protest, but something about Kalu gave him the impression he wouldn't take no for an answer. Besides, regardless of time and place, Dean Winchester was pretty much always down for getting naked with a hot person. Well, y'know, except for certain situations pertaining to supernatural beings, truck-stop waitresses with bizarre rashes, and Sammy. But it looked like the last one was about to change, and…well, fuck it, Dean just let it happen.

"Mmmm, yes, you are strong, ku? Ey, that's good! Strong man, strong warrior, can take good care of children, yes? You can provide for us, ku?" Kalu cooed at Dean, his eyes glinting in the candle light as he slowly stroked Dean's naked chest. Dean's bemusement must have shown on his face, for Kalu threw his head back in a laugh.

"Ey, ehhh, don't worry, Husband, I will help you, of course!" Dean's eyebrows shot up at his smugly benign comment as Kalu slipped down onto his knees. Not that he hadn't already kinda guessed as much, but he was still a bit…surprised.

"…So, we're getting, um, married, huh?" Dean questioned awkwardly. Kalu sent him a "duh!" look.

"But of course, ku! Ey, but you speak funny! What is the 'um', ku? I have heard this 'huh' but only from Naku. Where are you from, Dean, husband mine, that you speak so?" Now Kalu was the one questioning as he slid his hand down and stroked lightly on Dean's dick. Dean gasped slightly, and tried to rally his thoughts to answer the question as Kalu sped up and tightened his warm grip.

"Ugh, Kansas…" he sighed as Kalu slid his open mouth over Dean's hard prick. He grunted, his fingers finding hold in Kalu's unique hair and thrusting lightly. Kalu hummed, and Dean could tell he'd never heard of the place, but, thankfully, Kalu kept his mouth were it was.

For a little while, the only sounds in the cave was their heavy breathing, Dean's sounds of pleasure, and the slight trickle of a steam in the corner of the cave. When Dean finally came with a heavy groan, Kalu pulled up and swallowed slowly before replying.

"I've never heard of such place, and I've never heard of a name like yours, ku. Ey, but, it doesn't matter. What matters now is getting you bathed and dressed so we can get married tonight."

"Umm, yeah, about that…do you mind explaining this whole situation to me? I'm kinda wondering what the hell is happening here," Dean asked the dark-skinned priest.

"Ey! My apologies! Well, a long time ago, the first Joff foresaw that a man looking for someone called 'Sam' would come to our village. Ey, he would be strong, a great warrior, and under him our people would prosper. But, even better, when he came, he would marry the current princess, ku. As for me, our people have a custom. In a marriage of high consequence, there is the husband and the wife, as in other tribes, but our people also have 'bridges', who are third people in the covenant. They are normally male, ku. Ey, see, their purpose it to keep the accord between wife and husband. We mediate and help appease each side so the marriage does not disintegrate ku. The royalty of our people have strong personalities, and sometimes find it hard not to clash at every turn, therefore, I am the bridge," Kalu explained. But Dean still had a couple more questions.

"So, you call me your husband. What do I call you? And, what exactly did you mean by 'the first Joff'?"

"Ey ah, 'Joff' is a name inherited with the title of High Priest. And you can call me whatever you want except wife. Neither Samine nor I would be pleased, ku. However, 'Bridge' is customary. We are not such imaginary people, are we, ku?" Kalu said the last bit with a wry grin that showed a flash of brilliant teeth. _Oh yeah,_ Dean thought_, I could get used to this!_

_TBC…_

**AN: Okay, babes, I know I haven't written much (read: at all!) but…well, there's something you should know about me. I don't write crap. At least, not on purpose. If I'm not feeling the story, I'm not gonna write some shit just for the sake of it. Either I write something good or I don't write at all. If this bothers you too much, well then, fuck you, sucker! There! Anyway, I hope you like this. I'm gonna work on LBP next, so wish me luck, chickies!**

**Pronunciation:**

**Joff- exactly how it's spelled**

**Kalu- kah-loo**

**Ku- coo**


	4. My Apologies!

My dear chickies, it is with great sadness as well as sheepishness that I tell you that I am abandoning this work. I know this will probably enrage some of you, but it can't be helped. I would rather abandon and offer up for adoption a story I have run out of inspiration for, than churn out a stupid sub-par ending.

Yes, all my stories that I have not moved to my Ao3 account (MostlySane), are up for adoption. However, please do not adopt the ones I have moved. I am not planning on taking down any of the ones I have moved, so you can still read them as far as they are here, however, I will likely be updating on my Ao3 account.

Thanks so much for being understanding! I love you all, and I'm sorry that I had to do this. Hopefully, if you're not too mad at me, you will send me a message either here or on Ao3 and keep reading!

Please PM me if you are interested in adopting this story.

Much love,

Nasti


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